possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
