So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
