I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
