i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
