What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
sarcasm needs its own font
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize