She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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