also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
