Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
