So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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