After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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