She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
