Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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