I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
