This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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