I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
worst night to have a conscience
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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