I hate your face
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
