If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
