Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
