I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
She announced her abortion via fbk
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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