3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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