No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
