In the future we'll all be gay
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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