She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
