cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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