but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
