the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
