This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
