She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize