watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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