had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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