Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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