Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
