Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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