suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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