i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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