I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
