they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
