we're chasing vodka with high fives
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
