Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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