You're a womanizer and a bitch.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
