it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
