mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
