Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
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