I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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