Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize
