but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Damn victory sex feels great
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
