Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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