I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
