Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
