Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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