3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
